Happy Pneu Year

2008 has been rough on me so far. i've been sick since just after Christmas. What began as some kind of virus eventually turned into pneumonia. i went to the doctor three times in less than two weeks. i've been through breathing treatments and two rounds of antibiotics and steroids. the doc says it takes 10-14 days to get through pneumonia. i'm on day 25. it's frustrating to say the least. i haven't had a good, solid night's sleep in weeks because i'm either coughing like a 70 year-old three-pack-a-day-smoker, i can't breathe well or i'm waking up soaked in sweat thanks to the 'roids. steriods, that is. not the other kind. (although, i've had my bouts with the other kind and let me tell you, brother......it ain't pleasant. they can make you sweat, too. i know, i know.....too much info.) the steroids also messed up my voice as well as my internal thermostat.

anyway...i'll probably pay my doctor yet a fourth visit today in three weeks. i'm just sick and tired of being sick and tired. i want to be able to breathe clearly again. this is actually the third time i've been sick in the last three months. needless to say, i feel pretty run down. ok...enough complaining. (would you like a little cheese with your 'whine', rob?)

i don't even know if anyone still reads this but if you do, i'd appreciate it if you'd toss up a prayer for me.

in addition to being sick, i've already had to make some tough and unpopular decisions this year within the worship ministry at church. i don't mind making tough decisions, particularly when i'm convinced it's the right thing to do and when i feel led by the Lord to do so. still...it isn't easy to make a call that disappoints some people. but i've learned over the years that the easy thing is rarely the right thing. it's all part of leadership.

oh, well. on to other things.

i have big hopes for this year. i didn't make any new year's resolutions, mainly because i know myself well enough to know i won't keep them. however, the beginning of a new year always causes me to get very introspective and evaluate changes i need to make in my life. i want to become the man i once dreamed of being. i've heard the definition of 'insanity' is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result. it's that whole, "if you do what you've always done, then you'll be what you've always been" kind of thing. that pretty much sums up where i've been the last few years of my life. so, big changes are in order. actually, i'm already on my way and i'm making some progress, but i'm not prepared yet to open up about them here. i will in due time.

one of my goals is to be more honest and transparent this year. i've always tried to lead an honest life, but i want to be even more so this year. i cannot stomach inauthenticity -- especially in myself. i want to spend some incredible time with my wife and girls, get out of debt, study the bible more and most of all....i want to live a life absorbed in the Way of Christ. you'd think that would come easily for me, being a pastor. quite the opposite. sometimes i get weary of being a 'professional christian'. don't get me wrong...ministry has a great deal of joy but if you're not careful, it can bring seasons of cynicism. i have to constantly remind myself Who i'm doing it for.

i'd also like to write a few great songs this year -- and get a couple of them cut. i try to spend my days off writing songs and in the last couple of years, i've had the privilege of having songs on hold with Brad Paisley, Tim McGraw, Montgomery Gentry, Blake Shelton, Clay Walker, Jamie O'Neal, LoneStar, Randy Travis and VanZant. obviously, none of them ending up getting cut, but maybe that will change this year. i'm just grateful that some major artists have actually listened to some of my songs and liked them enough to throw them in the pile for consideration. i know if God wants it to happen, no one can stop it and if God doesn't want it to happen, nothing I do can force it. so, i'll just keep showing up and trusting Him to do whatever He wants. it's His deal, anyway.

i also plan to post a variety of things in the 'ol blog this year. maybe some articles about worship. maybe my thoughts, observations and ramblings about various topics. perhaps a confession or two. an occasional movie review or book recommendation. just keep checking back. i'll do my best to provide regular posts.

sounds like a resolution to me.