Worst Album Covers...Ever!

I saw these this morning and laughed out loud. The Chicago Tribune ranked the 50 worst album covers of all time. Here are some of my favorites along with my comments...

I wish my brother, George, was here...

(You mean there was a 'volume 1'?)

sadly, what came next was foster edwards' funeral

after the guitar player mistook him for a mouse and

beat him to death with the les paul.

the drummer was a real ass...

after being excommunicated from the amish order for the use of electric instruments, the 'electric amish' replaced their drummer and released their first protestant album...

wayne was gunned down by the east coast rap mafia.

although this was his one and only release,

this brave pioneer paved the way for Willie Tyler & Lester.

danger, will robinson! danger!

shortly after this underground release, wayne newton

landed a record-setting sansabelt endorsement!

roger saved money by using old mug shots for his album cover

i'd rather not...

looks like someone's trying a little too hard to

convince the world that he truly is heterosexual

the macabre musical of 'freddie the friendly serial killer'

these gals truly can read music...

unfortunately, 'ole slim went bankrupt after unsuccessfully defending
lawsuits from both leo sayer and neal schon of 'journey'

tina turner hair - check; mr. t cross - check; mork from ork suspenders - check; rick james glasses - check; steal name from famous alien - check; grow prince-like mustache - check;

have aunt celia make me some rockin' seashell pants - check!

ah, the good 'ole days. nothing scars quite like

watching the old man play with his organ.

this bought each of these kids an extra five years

on the therapists' couch

the cast of 'a mighty wind'?

and my personal favorite...
(i really had to mullet over)

If you'd like to see all 50, click here.

More Useless Facts

Here are a few more totally useless factoids...

• A ' jiffy' is an actual unit of time for 1/100th of a second.

• February 1865 is the only month in recorded history not to have a full moon.

• There are two words in the English language that have all five vowels in order: 'abstemious' and 'facetious.'

• If you are an average American, in your whole life, you will spend an average of 6 months waiting at red lights.

• Leonardo Da Vinci invented the scissors.

• Cats have over one hundred vocal sounds. Dogs only have about 10.

• Our eyes are always the same size from birth, but our nose and ears never stop growing.

• A crocodile cannot stick out its tongue.

• The sentence: 'The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog' uses every letter of the alphabet.

• In Ft. Lauderdale, Florida, in the late 50's thru early 70's, there was a dentist named 'Dunat Yelle'.

• There are 293 different ways to make change for a dollar.

• With your hands on your keyboard's home row, the longest word you can type using only your left hand is: "stewardesses". The longest word you can type using only your right hand is "lollipop".

• Your thumb is the same length as your nose.
  

• According to Beatles producer George Martin, Neal Hefti's catchy composition of the 1960's "Batman" Emmy-winning theme song inspired George Harrison to write the hit song, "Taxman."

• George Washington died the last hour of the last day of the last week of the last month of the last year of the 18th century.

• A full moon always rises at sunset.

• Bill Gates' first business was Traff-O-Data, a company that created machines which recorded the number of cars passing a given point on a road.

• acetwothreefourfivesixseveneightninetenjackqueenking. Excluding the joker, if you add up the letters in all the names of the cards in the deck (Ace, two, three, four,...king), the total number of letters is 52, the same as the number of cards in the deck. Spooky, huh?
  

• At a jet plane's speed of 1,000 km (620mi) per hour, the length of the plane becomes one atom shorter than its original length.

• Human thigh bones are stronger than concrete.

• The World's Record for the longest Monopoly game ever played was 1,680 hours long. That's 70 straight days!

• The longest Monopoly game played in a bathtub was 99 hours long.

• Q: What was the occupation of Charlie Brown's father? A: He was a barber.
  

• According to Scientific American magazine: if you live in the northern hemisphere, odds are that every time you fill your lungs with air at least one molecule of that air once passed thru Socrates lungs.
  

• The numbers on opposite sides of a die always add up to 7.

• The book of Esther in the Bible is the only book which does not mention the name of God.

• During his or her lifetime, the average human will grow 590 miles of hair.

• 75% of the people who read this will hold their thumb up to their nose to compare the two.
  

2008 ACM's

As I watched the 2008 Academy of Country Music Awards on Sunday night, I have to admit that I was very disappointed. And I'm a BIG fan of country music. The night had its share of glitches.

For starters...the audio mix was HORRIBLE! I don't know who was mixing it for on-air, but they should have held a production meeting after the broadcast and fired them! During the live songs, you could barely hear the band. And poor 'ole Rodney Atkins sounded terrible. Can't lay that one on the bad mix....he just sounded flat throughout his entire medley. Maybe he was having trouble with his in-ear's.

Garth Brooks had a false start with his song. Reba's decision to join Brooks and Dunn for their song "Put a Girl In It" seemed impromptu. It came off that way, too. Even King George didn't sound that great.

A good friend of mine who works in the country music industry (and by the "industry", I mean "the business") once told me that the ACM's are extremely political. I believe it. Some of the awards were laughable and disappointing.

"Stay" got song of the year? Gimme a break. I mean...on one hand, I admire a song that breaks the traditional rules and becomes a radio hit with absolutely no drums on the track. Props to Sugarland for having a big hit with just an acoustic/vocal performance. That rarely happens. But does the Academy really expect us to believe that "Stay" was a better song than "Don't Blink" (Kenny Chesney) or "Moments" (Emerson Drive)? C'mon!! As a songwriter, I was extremely disappointed. It all seemed very political.

And Miranda Lambert put out the "Album of the Year"? Really? Seriously? Better than Brad Paisley's '5th Gear' and Rodney Atkins', "If You're Going Through Hell"? I'm not even a huge RA fan, but let's face it...his debut record has spawned 4 stinkin' # 1's!

The highlight of the evening for me was when Brad Paisley and Carrie Underwood performed the Eddie Arnold classic, "Make the World Go Away". My only complaint was that it was too short. Here it is, in case you missed it.



I'm glad Carrie Underwood got Female Vocalist of the Year. Well-deserved. In the near future, I hope to see Mr. Paisley holding the trophy for Entertainer of the Year.

Fun, Useless Information

I stumbled upon this stuff today and thought I'd pass it along. Here is some fun, useless knowledge to impress your friends, neighbors and coworkers around the water cooler.

Fun Facts:

Many years ago in Scotland, a new game was invented. It was ruled "Gentlemen Only... Ladies Forbidden". Thus, the word 'GOLF' entered into the English language.

The first couple to be shown in bed together on prime time TV was Fred and Wilma Flintstone.

Every day more money is printed for Monopoly than the U.S.Treasury.

Men can read smaller print than women can; women can hear better.

Coca-Cola was originally green.

The State with the highest percentage of people who walk to work? Alaska.

The percentage of Africa that is wilderness? 28%. (now get this...) The percentage of North America that is wilderness? 38%.

The cost of raising a medium size dog to the age of eleven is $6,400.00.

The average number of people airborne over the U.S. in any given hour is 61,000. (I thought this would be higher)

Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair. (I wonder what stupid people have?)

The first novel ever written on a typewriter? Tom Sawyer.

The San Francisco Cable cars are the only mobile National Monuments.

Many years ago in England, pub frequenters had a whistle baked into the rim or handle, of their ceramic cups. When they needed a refill they used the whistle to get some service. "Wet your whistle" is the phrase inspired by this practice.

Each King in a deck of playing cards represents a great King from history:
Spades = King David
Hearts = King Charlemagne
Clubs = Alexander the Great
Diamonds = Julius Caesar

If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle. If the horse has one front leg in the air, the person died as a result of wounds received in battle. If the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural causes.

It is virtually impossible to lick your own elbow.

Only two people signed the Declaration of Independence on July 4th -- John Hancock and Charles Thomson. Most of the rest signed on August 2, but the last signature wasn't added until 5 years later.

Q. Half of all Americans live within 50 miles of what?
A. Their birthplace.

Q. Most boat owners name their boats. What is the most popular boat
name requested?
A. Obsession.

Q. What do bulletproof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers, and
laser printers all have in common?
A. All were invented by women.

Q. What is the only food that doesn't spoil?
A. Honey.

Q. Which day are there more collect phone calls than any other day of the year?
A. Father's Day.

In Shakespeare's time; mattresses were secured on bed frames by ropes. When you pulled on the ropes the mattress tightened, making the bed firmer to sleep on. Hence the phrase...
"goodnight, sleep tight."

It was the accepted practice in Babylon 4,000 years ago that for a month after the wedding, the bride's father would supply his son-in-law with all the mead he could drink. Mead is a honey beer and because their calendar was lunar based, this period was called the honey month, which we know today as the honeymoon.

In English pubs, ale is ordered by pints and quarts. So in old England, when customers got unruly, the bartender would yell at them "Mind your pints and quarts, and settle down." It's where we get the phrase "Mind your P's and Q's."

~~~and finally~~~

At least 75% of the people who read this will try to lick their elbow!

Dark Knight Posters from Germany

Here are a few new posters that have surfaced in Germany.






71 days and counting...

imdb reports that the Heath Ledger Joker action figure sold out within minutes yesterday at the Toys R Us in downtown NYC. They sell for $9.99 and are already going for $55 on eBay.

Playing Saturday, May 10

I'll be playing in a Writer's Round on Saturday, May 10 @ the Listening Room Cafe in downtown Franklin, TN, with my good friend, Tonja Rose. The show starts at 9:00 pm. Come on out and join us. Reservations are recommended.

New Dark Knight Trailer

Here's the new trailer for "The Dark Knight". I went to see 'Iron Man' and saw this during the previews. After it was over, I think I peed a little...